Site changes, writing plans, travel videos, art, Keratoconus

Site changes, writing plans, travel videos, art, Keratoconus


By now you are probably certain that I am insane, or at least overly-ambitious with my plans. But here are some more, as well as some progress.

Site changes

If you haven’t noticed I have really been playing with the gamer pages on this site. Pages? Yes, plural. I figured that I wanted to write my entire experience from the first computer game I played in a museum in Birmingham around 1974 up until I slowly walked away from Urban Terror a couple of years ago. As I started to do this I noticed other themes. One of these has just got a page of it’s own and this is about art produced by gamers for their sites and for forums.

All these pages are a work in progress, but hopefully they will develop into a neat little slice of gamer history.

Writing plans

One of my online friends here accidentally stepped into one of my novel’s plot mechanisms while suggesting something for one of my short stories set in the same world. It made me think more about the plots.

I am currently trying to separate out the plot lines of my various characters so each can have a novel of their own across a common time frame. I think this means that I will need to release them all at the same time for them to make any sense – or at least to provide explanations for each other. Yet each will be a self-contained novel – perhaps across different genres even. By this I mean one might be fantasy plus police procedural. Another would be pure fantasy. Another fantasy and science fiction. And so on.

I also really want to write more about the background of Kerphulu. My short story Tears of a Blue Priestess intrigued me, even if not the publishers of the Monsters anthology. I want to learn more about this villain of mine. Can’t help but think that it would be semi-erotic and very psychological if I do so. Very scary for me.

Travel videos

Like so many people I have hours and hours of personal travel videos that sit unwatched on DVDs. So I intend to liberate them. YouTube has great free music to add to videos published there and I figure that I can also speak a few words about what is happening on them and voila! It is better than having them sitting at home and potentially getting lost or damaged. And it also means that I can easily share them with friends and family!

To edit these I am using Photoshop CC. I had not idea that this was possible until a couple of weeks ago. Now I cannot wait to see what the finished product looks like.

So expect some of my travel videos appearing on YouTube soon! My first will be about Bath.



This is, like, so cool! For a while now I have been in awe of an artist named David Brinnen who does great Bryce art. Here is his YouTube channel. Well, yesterday on the DAZ 3D forums I posted a thanks for his superb tutorials and he responded. Cool! The Bryce forum over at DAZ seems to be used by a lot of professional artists, so perhaps I can learn from them. This said, I am already learning brilliant stuff from the people I am meeting on WordPress. I am just in awe of all the talent out there!

I have downloaded the beta of the most recent version of DAZ but cannot say that I immediately took to it. This might come down to the fact that it is laid out slightly differently. We’ll see what happens when I play more.


I did say that I would write more about this, and I will. But as a simple, single thought for any sufferers out there I want you to contemplate this: I can barely see out my left eye and my right eye has two-thirds vision, and yet look at my plans. I also work a full time job in IT security. If I can do this, then so can you! I want this thought to lift you up and carry you forward. Limitations: sure they exist, but there are ways around them.

Secondly: anxiety. From other keratoconus sufferers and from reading lots of forums and internet posts I know that anxiety is part and parcel of this disorder. Before I used the internet to research it, I just used to think that I had a problem – an over active imagination or paranoia or something. And I never associated this anxiety with Keratoconus. But now I know.

“So what?” I hear you cry (OK – I admit I imagine that). Well, think about this: if our anxiety (yours and mine and all the rest of us Keratoconus sufferers) is simply part of the condition then we know that it is there regardless. And by knowing that it is there regardless we can choose to accept it and work around it.

These days people describe me as a confident person. They have no idea of the truth. I perpetually feel that I am going to fail at everything I do. I perpetually believe that people are talking about me behind my back. I always walk back to my house and my car to check that I have locked them, even when I know for a damned fact that I have! And I will do this three or four times, frequently making myself late for things. Yet, yet… I don’t let it get to me anymore. That is who I am, I accept it. When the emotional part of me gets too strong, I switch to the logical part, like putting on a mask, and just carry on. I disregard the negative emotions, knowing for a fact they are nothing more than a fiction, and keep moving.

So if you have Keratoconus and it is crippling you emotionally, then try to approach it this way. It will work eventually.

OK all – I have ranted away enough for one day. Thanks all for your continued patronage of my blog. Have a beautiful day :)









  1. It takes bravery and a driven passion to push through that “I’m going to fail at everything”. Congratulations for being brave and connected deeply with your art and life.


    1. I thank you for reading and even more for taking the time to comment. ☺ While i would love to consider myself brave, I cannot. If bravery is what it takes to overcome adversity then i cannot help others. I cannot teach bravery. I prefer to think that it is merely pragmatism. And pragmatism is an approach that we can all adopt in the face of barriers. ☺ Nevertheless thankyou for your generous words and i would love to hear more from you. ☺


  2. “fantasy plus police procedural”

    This sounds very intriguing! I have read books dealing with private investigators in a fantasy world (like Glen Cook’s Garrett series), I have read books that use a police-like organisation as a way to bring characters together and supply them with situations to deal with (that would be a Russian-only author, though), but never a “real” procedural.

    And hey, the anxiety that I have is a separate issue, but I feel for you. I know what it’s like, to always expect failure. And fear it.


    1. :) Well, the police procedural is hard to pull off in a fantasy world and I am still uncertain when I read it. LOL. And the anxiety and feelings of failure… I am increasingly coming to terms with them as “fake” feelings that I need to ignore. I must admit that the only Glen Cook that I have read is his Black Company. I must expand on this then :)


      1. But it could be something groundbreaking! =)
        I’d say it’s more like “acknowledge and move on” than “ignore”, right? Because when you straight on ignore a feeling (as in, pretend it’s not there), it can get worse.

        Hmmm, everyone I speak to seems to only have read Black Company… guess what – this is a series that I am not familiar with, in turn! =)


        1. Perhaps I had better read his other books LOL. I actually only read the Black Company because Steven Erikson cited them as an inspiration and I love the Malazan series :) I will follow your advice and try to work out best how to make the police procedural one work :) Thanks :)


          1. I have to check out Steven Erikson, it’s the first time I hear this name =)


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